We all build Towers of our own making, in our intimate mind-space. We all envision certain aspects and elements of our life as BEing the solid and formidable bricks that support a great big tower of expectation and circumstance.
Does this make sense, in its poetic form?? If not, let me explain.
I just awoke now from a dream. In this dream, I was empowered and excited to know that “This is the time I’ve been waiting for!!”.
Without any logical thought at all, I ran to give another this celebratory news.
While heading to find him, in that etheric state of blissful BEing, another conveyed that he wasn’t here. He was no where to be found. He was on his own fateful journey.
And….I froze in the truth of that knowing.
My whole Tower of security and expectation came tumbling down all over again, in the blink of that single moment.
Once upon a time, I was in love with a soul that appeared to BE my breath, my soul, my voice, my heart, my light, my truth, my everything.
There were no warning signs before the Tower fell. There was nothing to prepare me for the great shock and loss. One minute he was there. One minute he was not.
This was not the Tower that we all think about on this day!! This was a Tower of my own making. But, this morning I can see, that it was still a great big formidable Tower to me. It appeared unshakable, and life-affirming. It appeared to be solid and built upon trust.
But still I was left in the rubble, on my own.
This morning, I recognize that a part of me has not fully processed the sense of loss and separation.
It’s been 14 years now, and he is still the representation of Love in my deepest heart. Never did he speak harshly or show me a cruel side.
The rubble of what once was, still remains.
Am I still moving through life in the shadow of this single experience?? Am I shielding mySelf from NEW LOVE in efforts to cling to some outdated perceptions and experience that was??
This truth amazes me now.
How intricate our psyches are. To imagine that I’ve been holding on to the weathered foundation of some old expectations, shocks me now.
I am newborn. I am free. I am not who I once was!!
No part of me wishes to turn back. No part of me wishes to know more, on a conscious plane of BEing.
So, perhaps we can transmute all of these deeply rooted expectations.
Hear Me Now, Dear Spirit…..I AM FREE!!!
I hold no attachments to the past or to what will be. I am a free-flowing expression of infinite divinity!!! I am the designer of my journey, one step at a time. I await no approval or validation. I am whole within mySelf. I am free to BE me.
I embrace Love – Love – Love!! I am ready to receive.
Let no resistance BE within or without. I accept the infinite blessings that powerfully flow, here and now. ♥
Please recognize, that you may have Towers of formidable power in your own intricate psyches. You may be processing a greater sense of loss today, without understanding why.
The great Towers of NYC are our intimate truths in full display.
This does not minimize the importance of every bright soul who was powerfully impacted by the experience!! It does, perhaps, bring greater healing to their souls.
If we begin to bring Love and compassion into our own Tower’s rubble, perhaps it brings greater HEALING to the larger picture in motion.
That feels right to me.
So, please honor yourSelf today. ReMember that, as we honor our own microcosmic journey, we honor the whole!!
© Alania Starhawk 2016