Once upon a time, I was the same as any other soul who draws back and shakes at the thought of a snake intruding upon their personal space. I could respect them as part of the great big natural realm of being, but don’t ask me to come within 50 yards of the slithering “creature”.
Now, my heart cringes to consider that I was ever so disconnected from their beauty and their power. Today, they are sacred to me. They are wise. They are my teachers. They are my relations.
Do you wonder how I shifted my awareness so profoundly?? I shall tell you.
Going back about ten years or so, I began having powerful dreams with snakes in them. I sometimes had these dreams 5 nights out of 7, and they continued for about a year.
The dream scenarios would shift and change every night, but the core truth and pattern was always the same. I would be feeling safe, in whatever environment I found myself in. Then I would have a spontaneous thought “wait, there might be a snake here.” The single snake would appear. And if I showed any fear of that single snake, many more would appear.
They varied in size, color, and assortment every time. But as my fear grew, in each dream, so did the number of snakes and so did their proximity to me. The tension would escalate to the point where they were slithering on me, wrapping around me, or biting me. At that high point of anxiety and fear, I’d wake myself up and out of the dream.
This is honestly where I began to dream lucidly. I began to guide myself while inside the dream. Each time I felt fear, I would remind myself that I am safe and they are my brothers (of the spiritual variety). I was soon able to notice that my dream was reacting to my thoughts. I was able to control my experience, and slowly each dream became a little less traumatic.
Eventually, about a year later, I had my last and final “snake” dream.
In this dream, I was walking down a street that I was familiar with. The street began to fill with water. So much so that it had become a river. I laid down on my back to float in this water, and great big massive snakes appeared everywhere around me.
I was aware of these snakes, but they didn’t impact my sense of peace and serenity. Finally, I became so lucid (becoming aware of my dream state and my conscious state simultaneously), that I recognized myself wearing the exact same nightshirt I was sleeping in that night. I also recognized that my body was floating in the same exact position my body was physically in, while sleeping.
Then I noticed that as a great big muscular snake began slithering on top of my body in dream state, I was able to tangibly and verifiably FEEL him upon my physical form in that bed. As he moved up my leg, towards my head, I could feel the weight of his body upon mine. I could feel his muscles moving with each effort, I could feel his body warmth and the touch of his cool skin, all simultaneously.
I knew not to open my physical eyes. It would break the trance-state that I was in. So I relaxed and allowed this moment to unfold without resistance.
He reached the middle of my chest and lifted his head, so that we could meet eye to eye.
In this epic moment of intimate connection, all I saw was the DEPTH of his bright, beautiful, and timeless spirit.
I was mesmerized and said…
“YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.”
His love flowed right through me, and the gift of being united with this soul instantly shattered any subconscious fears I had been holding on to.
I was healed. I was loved. I was blessed.
Clearly, I had learned what they had been working so hard to teach me, because I never had one of these dreams again until this particular week.
My passion has been fully ignited lately. I feel the power of expanded BEingness approaching and blessing me in wondrous and unimaginable ways. This is my truth.
And while I trust in this, a subconscious part of me has been trying to control every thought, detail, and nuance so that “nothing falls apart”.
So I asked my guides to bring clarity into my awareness, and to remind me that I am on the right path. Decisions seem to be filling my every day, and I had wished for a bit of support regarding these decisions.
As a response, my dream began inside my childhood home, which represents connection to my timeless ancestral soul self. I walked down the steps into the backyard, and noticed that the grass was extra green and fertile. The land was also very moist and wet, which made me feel as though there was LIFE in this land.
I knew that I had to go into the grass, even though I didn’t want to. There was something for me to find and retrieve in this experience. So I went in. With my first step, I thought “this is exactly the environment that snakes love.” And of course, a snake appeared. Then oodles and caboodles of snakes appeared, filling the whole backyard.
There was still room for me to move between the clusters of snakes. And as I did so, I remarked at how beautiful and unique each one of them was. For the most part, I didn’t feel any fear or insecurity. But I did have a knowing that snakes will sometimes bite if I move too close. That triggered a few bites. But I reacted to the bites as I would to a mosquito bite. It was nothing more than a nuisance.
At some point I had retrieved my necessary treasure, whatever it was, and climbed the stairs back up into the house. I remember telling someone “did you see what I came through??”.
Then I woke up, and my dream was complete.
While sharing this dream in my journal afterward, I understood it all completely. And again, I feel so incredibly thankful to journey with my brother, Snake.
It’s important for me to walk this exact walk at this time in my life. There is some magnificent treasure or understanding for me to claim for mySelf. And never could the environment (circumstances) be more fertile and ripe (amazingly green grass). There was LIFE everywhere (the fresh clean water).
I also recall looking into the neighboring yards, to escape the snakes as an option, but they were all cold and lifeless. This was most certainly the only path for me.
I asked why the snakes had appeared.
They each represented the myriad of fears, insecurities, doubts, and paths of resistance I could entertain and embrace if I chose to. Their presence doesn’t define my experience. Only my reaction to their presence can impact my reality, as I had allowed with the bites.
But overall, the dream was reminding me that I now have the wisdom, awareness, and strength to walk through new territory with composure and power!! Although the questions of doubt had touched me, which led to my prayer for support, they would not overpower me.
I am the one in control of my experience. Always!!
I feel centered and empowered once again.
© Alania Starhawk 2017