It’s not easy to step away emotionally. But eventually, when only dense pain and chaos accompany a particular soul, it becomes vital to DETACH from the one that you’ve always loved. We first do so, as an effort to survive the insanity and protect the beauty that is left in our life. But slowly, we begin to see that PEACE is very real.
This is the Peace that comes when ONE soul no longer directs all of the energy towards his/her selfish tale of drama each day. This is the Peace that comes when laughter intensifies in ever-expanding waves of innocent rapture, without turning ugly and accusatory (for those who are uncomfortable in joy). This is the Peace that comes when YOU have the ability to walk freely in life, without Fear of how you will be judged, abused, or adversely impacted each day.
Learning to LOVE someone as they are, without participating in their erratic adventure, can be the bravest choice we ever make!!
I have a brother.
There. I said it.
While loving him authentically and praying for him in every way, I detached from all personal involvement more than 20 years ago. I have never regretted that choice. He brings only chaos to all he touches, in a cruel and manipulative way.
When the opportunities presented themselves over the years, I made efforts to bond with the innocent soul inside the mask. I cautiously let down my guard to offer inspiration and support, each time. But all communications ended aggressively the moment that he didn’t receive the exact response “he” wanted.
What I did notice in my last hopeful engagement (about a year ago), is that the soul we love doesn’t live there anymore. There is a dark force at home behind those eyes. This force doesn’t want to be loved, it wants us to bow down to his choice.
Now, over the last few days, I’ve received news that my brother is close to transitioning from this world. His body is no longer strong enough to host these abusive patterns. And although, even this story may be filled with lies and manipulation as well, it is causing me to consider the whole complicated dynamic in new ways.
From a very young age, my brother told a great sad-story. He excelled at gaining pity, which thereby gained him oodles of GIFTed opportunities to succeed in life. Time after time, for a full 40 or so years, he has been handed opportunities that others would need to work for and earn. And still, with all this advantage, he would continuously HURT the one who had helped.
I don’t have one kind memory of the man.
But I consider, what would be the right thing to do now?? Leaving the past behind, what would be the right thing to do in this moment??
And I consider that all of the outpouring LOVE that my parents, and other very special people, gifted to him over the years was never enough. Perhaps its not more physical support that he requires. Perhaps its this exact soul experience, that allows him to finally take responsibility for all of HIS choices and actions. Perhaps he won’t be able to deflect blame, if he walks through this in the way that his soul designed. No one can “save him” anymore.
And with heaven’s support, he might just find the all-encompassing Self-LOVE that he had been searching for all along.
I know how this must sound to someone who has never faced this difficult family dynamic. But I see clearly. My brother’s soul is already FREE to be at Peace. What remains in that body, is a defiant aspect of his greater soul.
So, instead of feeding that shallowed aspect of his soul, I’d like to speak to his higher self.
The TRUTH is “I have a brother!!” And my way of honoring him today, is by confidently declaring that this is true.
Even my body now tenses up, to get this close. But with a loving heart, I’d like his spirit to HEAR this prayer. From my most authentic place, it’s all I have to share.
The deeper connection of this relationship can never be tainted, severed, or lost. We have chosen to walk together with great purpose and plan. In this life, I free you from all of the actions and choices that make you feel so separate and alone. Open your awareness, to SEE that you are so much more. You are a master, in your own right, understanding so much more than you give credit to. But, no longer can you trust in the kindness, compliments, and offers of another to DEFINE your own beauty and power. Only YOU can push through your own self-induced insecurities to be at home and at peace.
Will you let go of the brazen masks that distract all from seeing your innocent Light?? Will you soon release from the drive to blindly excel and survive??
I pray that you melt into SELF-acceptance in one of these divine moments soon to come. Not to bring judgment, but to bring greater measures of Love.
You’ve already proven that you can live boldly through adversity. Now, I encourage you to live bravely through acceptance.
Such beauty awaits. Such healing awaits.
When you free yourSelf from judgment, only LOVE remains.
May you find PEACE within and throughout!!
From this moment on, we will SEE YOU as the innocent one.
You are loved. ♥
And if you find yourSelf loving someone that isn’t in the healthiest place to be loved, I encourage you to LOVE THEM the best you can. Let go of whether that Love flows from near or far. Because truly, you can only share what is authentic and real.
Give these souls responsibility for their choices. They’ve laid the path that they find themselves upon now. Don’t view it as “right or wrong”. It may be exactly what their soul needs to find their way Home.
© Alania Starhawk 2017