Detachment as A Practice

When life takes a different turn than you had expected, are you able to still love yourSelf?? Are you able to still be at peace with all that is unexpected, and perhaps even unwanted??

For those of us who are fighters, by indoctrinated nature, it’s a bit difficult to release control of a situation and surrender all expectation. Our hearts hold on intently to the ideal outcome that we have envisioned, and require a full moment (or two), to recognize that “holding on” isn’t exactly comfortable.

That’s where I’m at this morning. I am in joy and gratitude for all that is smoothly grooving to it’s own sacred rhythm in my life, and I’m in simultaneous disbelief that one (or two) elements are at a bold stand-still.

What?? I’m a creative goddess!!! I can morph, shift, and reprogram any less than exhilarating nuance of life. I can breathe beauty and mystical wonder into anything I’m passionate about. Until, I can’t.

Or perhaps, instead of saying “I can’t”, I should say “It’s just too darn energy-consuming!!”. (((Smile)))

I can absolutely do all things. I am infinite. That’s a fact.

But sometimes, I awaken to unbiased clear-sight, and realize that holding on to one perfect vision of completion, attainment, and accomplishment can fully distract me from the flexible options that await my attention.

Practicing detachment, for any particular outcome, is an ongoing “practice” for me. Although my intentions are pure, I’m not yet a master in this particular art form. 

I might even venture to say that only a few of us are. (((Smile)))

If you are a bit like me, wanting to authentically embrace the perfectly imperfect beauty in each moment, without disappointment, pain, blame, and shame, then I have a few pointers (tips procured from arduous experience in this “art form”).

Pointer #1:  All disappointment comes from our attachment to some ideal assumption or expectation. At some level, we are holding tightly to a particular “should”, and this world would be a lot more peaceful if we all stopped “should”ing on ourSelves!!

Pointer #2:  Our body will always remind us when we are in a state of attachment. The mind is often distracted by rational (and sometimes flattering) excuses, illusions, and perceptions, but our body will speak greater volumes, if we trust its voice. If you are uncomfortable, there’s an attachment. If you are anxious and on-edge, there’s an expectation. If you are overly emotional, there’s a subconscious desire to be perfect. It’s fact. Accept it. You may be attached to some particular concept of “righteous and worthy”.

Pointer #3: All life is creating itself in real-time. It is continuously responding to our current thoughts, beliefs, and desires. If we set inflexible goals for ourselves (with the best of intentions), without allowing space for shifting energies, evolving consciousness, and growth, we are bound to all of our original expectations. It is so very possible that some facets of our intricate essence and circumstance have shifted, and we may no longer benefit from what felt so perfectly perfect just a few moments ago. Change can be beautiful, if we trust that it can be. Which leads us to….

Pointer #4: Our security and safety is absolute. It is not linked to any particular circumstance. We are eternally loved and supported. Only the channels, through which that love and support flows, can change. A river does not stop flowing because of a fallen rock or tree. It opens a new path of support, without hesitation. It honors the changes of life, and remains constant in its essence of truth and beauty. Change is essentially neutral, representing a shift in factual circumstance. It only carries the emotional energies that we imbue it with.

Pointer #5: All concept of control in the physical, is a limited perception of the greater truth. We are greater than this mind, as wondrous as it may be. Our consciousness is infinite in its authentic truth, and is orchestrating all opportunity and experience to honor our soul’s purposeful path, from the highest planes of divine BEing. Grace enters our life when we work in harmony with that higher power. Don’t give in to it, blindly. Just listen and trust. Co-create and lovingly direct. You are already connected to the infinite, and it is responding to your SOUL’s greatest desires (even if you have yet to recognize those innocent and passionate desires as authentic and real).

Pointer #6:  Whether you succeed at detaching or not, love yourSelf!! No matter how life unfolds, we are always the best that we can be. It’s time to reMember that all concept of imperfection is illusion, which factually tells us that WE ARE PERFECT in all our sloppy, delightfully chaotic uniqueness. In truth, loving ourSelves as we are is the surest way to reach “detachment” without compromise, complexity, and struggle. LOVE IS THE ANSWER, as always.

© Alania Starhawk 2018