Without judgment, the Ego holds our bounded world of structure, order, and physicality in place. It’s the voice within that shields us from the infinite and formless in our experience. And it does this so we can authentically explore the depths of duality and forgetfulness.
In essence, it purposely distracts us from the bigger picture (the highest truth) so we can know what it feels like to FREE ourSelves from that state of self-imposed confinement.
It’s important to reMember that our Egoic nature does NOT control our experience in any moment! It only distracts us from alternate perspectives and realities. It keeps us feeling small in comparison to something (anything) grander.
For those of us stepping into higher consciousness, the limited perceptions of Ego can be our greatest challenge. We’ve been clinging to them as a false sense of security and understanding for too many lifetimes to count.
We ask to be kept safe each day because we’ve forgotten that this world can be a safe and secure place. We question whether we can trust another because we’ve forgotten that we’re worthy of pure love. We wonder about our life’s purpose because we’ve lost connection to our truest self.
From a state of divine consciousness, we are ALL expressions of pure and pristine light. All perceptions of anything less were created within the realm of forgetfulness. They don’t hold any value beyond the veil of separation. They only exist within the limited perceptions of reality that we’ve embraced by choice (whether we’re aware of that choice or not).
They feel real though. Don’t they?
While in southern France, a few weeks ago, we made great effort to climb Mt. Bugarach. We heard stories about it’s mystical nature and wished to experience it for ourselves. Even when viewing it from miles away, we noticed that this mountain peak appears as a complete anomaly in the landscape. It actually appears other-worldly compared to its surrounding landscape.
Once arrived, we began our ascent fully determined to reach the top. But dangerously muddy paths caused us to surrender our climb in exchange for meditation time in a cozy green pasture only a third of the way up.
My Egoic-self was quite disappointed, as if I was missing something vital to my soul’s journey. But within the first few moments of stillness upon the mount’s surface, I felt my energy shift. I felt the dimensions of Time and Space part, to welcome me in.
I sensed a golden path appear, and I heard:
Free the ego, the mind, the spirit.
To become clean and purified, a shedding must take place. A shedding that strips you of all vanity and concern. A shedding that frees you from all sense of false-security.
It’s time to be sanctified within the GOLDEN ORB of transformation.
People through the ages come to be purified.
All who are worthy pierce through a gate to be nurtured, to be welcomed, to be adored.
You are in the gate.
However, you still have to walk through.
Will this be for you today?
It opens to support you now.
Be clear of heart.
Do not question.
Do not fear.
This is your day.
This is your truth.
I understood that I must make a choice to accept this “shedding” at all levels. If I wished to step through, I must accept all that comes with this initiation.
A Golden Eagle instantly appeared upon a spiritual plane. He lifted me on graceful wing to move forward, to move higher.
Beneath, I saw the challenged path — the rocky terrain of both that mount and of life itself. He telepathically whispered “You are beyond that, my dear.”
And with “my dear,” I realized that he is older than Time itself.
He is the spirit of transformation and golden alchemy.
My journey into higher states of consciousness continued. I was guided through an epic initiation into golden Light and sacred reMembrance.
But the story I wish to tell continues when I arrive back at the car. The car that had a broken window upon our return.
When Spirit asked if I was ready to SHED all attachment to false-vanity and security, they meant it. In that exact moment, there was a human-vessel at the bottom of the mountain waiting for the “go ahead” to break into our car and SHED my White Bag (the bag that was filled with everything that made me feel safe, secure, and pretty).
I knew this was part of my initiation, so I did my best to process all of the naturally rising emotions and insecurities over the next few days. Most of them were simple (and sometimes silly) patterns that needed to be reprogrammed.
For example, my mother always taught me to not go out without lipstick on. Apparently, life would fall apart without lipstick. So, as insane as that sounds, I had to remind myself that LIFE IS SAFE without lipstick. Lol
Some beliefs were a bit more uncomfortable to reprogram.
All of my well-packed chargers and wires (with plentiful extras that were brought “in case” they were needed) were now off some where unknown. How would I remain safe if my phone ran out of juice? Seriously. It’s much more impactful when you’re in the middle of nowhere, France, without a superstore of any kind.
And then, I also had to accept that my ipad (and access to my private accounts) were in the hands of someone other than me. Breathing through that imposing sense of insecurity required pizza! The best artichoke-abundant, prosciutto-filled, outdoor-french-village-bistro-served pizza ever.
The sensation of feeling “vulnerable” continued for a few days. Even though I wanted to be FREE of this feeling, my body was gently moving through the cellular memories that were rising.
I eventually knew that I had cleared and healed the White Bag trauma because I began to joyously proclaim, “I’m amazing! I survived the White Bag trauma.”
The white bag was symbolic of ALL false-vanity and security!
My attachment to all false states of comfort, security, identity, potential, and reality continues to surface for re-interpretation and evaluation, still. Essentially, I am being asked to re-imagine WHO I AM and how “I” choose to live my life.
In short, the challenged path will always be available to me. I can immerse myself deep in the MUCK (ohhhhhhh, I’m just recognizing the symbolism of the mud-filled path) and accept all that supports that choice — or I can ascend on Golden Wing to a higher perception of truth and awareness.
Even your Ego wishes to move beyond its limited consciousness.
TRUST YOURSELF!
You already are safe and loved.
© Alania Starhawk 2017
