Ego and The White Bag

Without judgment, the Ego holds this bounded world of structure, order, and physicality in place. It’s the voice within, that shields us from the infinite and formless within all moments and experiences. And it does so, so that we can soulfully explore the depths of duality and forgetfulness, until we’re ready for more!!

In essence, it purposely distracts us from the bigger picture (the highest truth), so that we can know what it feels like to FREE ourSelves from that state of self-imposed confinement. 

It’s important to reMember that our Egoic nature does NOT control our experience in any moment!! It only distracts us from alternate perspectives and realities. It keeps us feeling small in comparison to something (anything) grander.

For those of us stepping into higher consciousness, the limited perceptions of Ego can be our greatest challenge. We’ve been clinging to them as a false sense of security and understanding as far back as we can recall. 

We ask to be kept safe each day, because we’ve forgotten that this world can be a safe and secure place. We question whether we can trust another, because we’ve forgotten that we’re worthy of pure love. We wonder about our life’s purpose, because we’ve lost connection to our truest self.

From a state of divine consciousness, we are ALL expressions of pure and pristine Light. All perceptions of anything less, were created within the realm of forgetfulness. They don’t hold any validity beyond the veil of separation. They only exist within the false perceptions of reality and truth that we’ve embraced.

They feel real though. Don’t they??

While in southern France, a few weeks ago, we made great effort to climb Mt. Bugarach. We had heard stories about it’s mystical nature, and wished to experience it for ourselves. Even more interesting was the fact that this mountain peek appears as a complete anomaly in the landscape, when viewing it from miles away. It actually appears ‘other-worldly’ compared to its surrounding landscape.

We began our ascent fully determined to reach the top, but dangerously muddy paths caused us to surrender our climb in exchange for meditation time in a cozy green pasture only a third of the way up.

My Egoic-self was quite disappointed, as if I was missing something vital to my soul’s journey. But within the first few moments of stillness upon the mount’s surface, I felt my energy shift. I felt the dimensions of Time and Space part, to welcome me in. 

I sense a golden path appear, and I hear:

Free the ego, the mind, the spirit.

A shedding must take place, to become clean and purified. A shedding that strips you of all vanity and concern. A shedding that frees you from all sense of false-security.

It’s time to BE sanctified within the GOLDEN ORB of transformation.

People through the ages come to  be purified.

All who are worthy, pierce through a Gate to be nurtured, to be welcomed, to be adored. 

You are ‘in’ the gate. 

You still have to walk through. 

Will this be for you today??

It opens to support you now.

Be clear of heart. 

Do not question.

Do not fear.

This is your day. 

This is your truth.

I understood that I must make a choice to accept this “shedding” at all levels. If I wished to step through, I must accept all that comes with that initiation.

A Golden Eagle instantly appears, upon a spiritual plane. He lifts me on graceful wing to move forward, to move higher.

Beneath, I see the challenged path, the rocky terrain (of that mount and of life itself). He telepathically whispers “You are beyond that, my dear.”

And with “my dear”, I realize that he is older than Time itself.

He is the spirit of transformation, and the Spirit of Golden Alchemy.

My journey into higher states of awareness and truth continued. My whole SOUL went through an initiation into Golden Light and reMembrance. It was quite profound. Truly.

But, the story I wish to tell in this moment, continues back at the car. The car that had a broken window upon our return. (((Smile)))

You see, when Spirit asked if I was ready to SHED all attachment to false-vanity and security, they meant it. In that exact moment, there was a human-vessel at the bottom of the mountain, waiting for the “go ahead” to break into our car and SHED my White Bag, filled with everything that made me feel safe, secure, and pretty. Lol

I instantly knew that it was part of my initiation, so I did my best to process all of the naturally rising emotions and insecurities over the next few days. Most of them were simple patterns that needed to be reprogrammed.

My mother had always taught me not to go out without lipstick on. Apparently, life would fall apart without lipstick. So, as insane as that sounds, I had to remind myself that LIFE IS SAFE without lipstick!!! Lol

All of my well-packed chargers and wires, with plentiful extras (in case), were now off some where unknown. How would I remain safe if my phone ran out of juice?? Seriously. It’s much more impactful when you’re in the middle of nowhere, France… without a superstore of any kind.

And then, there was the knowing that my ipad, and access to my private accounts, were in the hands of someone other than me. Breathing through that sense of imposing insecurity took pizza!!!!! The best artichoke-abundant, prosciutto-filled, outdoor-french-village-bistro-served pizza ever.

The sensation of being ‘vulnerable’ continued for a few days. Even though I wanted to be FREE of this feeling, my body was processing old patterns of belief still.

I eventually cleared and healed the White Bag trauma in a few days. I know so, because I then began to claim the false-pride stance of “I’m amazing!! I survived the White Bag trauma.”

The funny part is, the White Bag was symbolic of ALL attachment to false-vanity and security!!! My Ego was so attached to the surface appearance, that I neglected to notice that I would then activate the White Bag scenario in my perfectly-comfy “real-world” Life. The adventure had only begu

My attachment to all false states of comfort, security, identity, potential, and reality continued to surface for re-interpretation and evaluation. Down to the basics, I was asked to re-imagine WHO I AM and what energies I wish to be a part of.

Be clear, this has nothing to do with others. This is perhaps THE most deeply internal, self-reflective journey I shall ever embark upon.

All of the old patterned thoughts of Ego-induced illusion and limitation are also being re-interpreted.

In short, the drama and the challenged path will always be available to me. I can immerse myself deep in the MUCK (ohhhhhhh, I’m just recognizing the symbolism of the mud-filled path) and accept all that supports that choice…….or I can ascend on Golden Wing to a higher perception of truth and awareness.

But reMember, to sense the GOLDEN PATH, you must surrender the “challenge” for a moment of stillness. If I kept pushing through the mud, I wouldn’t have experienced the HIGHER TRUTH. I would have become lost in the victimhood. Truthfully.

Be FREE. Even your Ego wishes for you to move “beyond” the limited consciousness.

You already are safe and secure.

© Alania Starhawk 2017