I can—and I can't.
It's all a choice.
I will—or I won't.
Nothing holds me back.
It's all an adventure.
To believe in the possibilities—or to fear the inevitable.
The "inevitable," in fact, that is only a creation of my own empowered belief.
Life feels so random at times.
So imposing and controlling.
But, is it?
Or is it only a reflection of my own conscious perception?
Lately, I find myself on the edge of all that is extraordinary and worthy of celebration.
But, to be honest, that edge has two sides.
Upon the other side, I sense a deep drop into the abyss.
It's real. I sense it, as part of my own being.
What could be so dark and ominous when it lies just a breath away from all that is extraordinary and worthy of celebration?
For my own sanity, and the pursuit of precious truth, I dive into the abyss.
In this moment.
For adventure's sake.
And as I plunge into the depths, I sense my own demise.
"Demise" that brings tears of joy and ecstasy too.
The "abyss" that was so looming, so fear-evoking, and traumatizing was only presenting me an opportunity to BE FREE from all conformity.
An opportunity to say "Here I am!"—and no more.
I have found a reality beyond expectations and norms, where only Truth and Authenticity hold sway.
A space to truly BE all that I am, instead of all that I believe myself to be.
Perhaps this abyss represents the BOUNDLESS MYSTERY OF SELF—the parts of me that will always lie beyond my conscious awareness.
But still, it calls to me.
As I gaze through the shadows that once filled this dark abyss, I now see only Love.
What if all that has ever frightened me in this life, is but the exploration of my own eternal truth.
Am I brave enough?
To shatter all concepts of the "edge" that keep me feeling separate from all I am.
Am I strong enough?
To trust that I already am all that I sometimes fear myself to be.
I am Boundless
I am Eternal
I am Pure
I am Constant
I am Accepting
I am Wondrous
I AM LOVE
© Alania Starhawk 2020