Worlds Within Worlds

It has taken me a lifetime to recognize that there are worlds of awareness, consciousness, and experience within worlds of possibility, opportunity, and potential.

All co-existing simultaneously, waiting for my attention to bring each one into focus in its time.

Think of it this way. When the dawn approaches, does the night cease to exist or does it merely fade out of focus to bring light to the day.

Back and forth, we maneuver through a million nights and days quite casually. So why can we not fathom that there a billion worlds (spheres of reality) seeking to empower us, support us, and comfort us in new ways?

I've often proclaimed, with emphatic dissapointment, that "I'm so tired of this world!" As if the physical world, filled with every grumpy nobody and nonsensical hamster wheel, was the only world I could choose from.

Now, I laugh because I couldn't yet see the worlds of sustainable joy, love, and peace that were always mine to tune into!

Always.

Not kidding.

Until you can move from the depths of anxiety and fear to the heights of gratitude and faith in the blink of an eye, you cannot imagine what I speak of.

But these worlds of conscious reality are always ours to tune into. Not just in our minds! In our lives.

Worlds within worlds.

They are real, and they change everything.

I began to tune into my own inner worlds of profound truth when my outer world could no longer comfort me.

Nearly three years ago, my body finally overloaded and crashed (as any computer program might when it receives too much input simultaneously).

The noisy world got louder and my beautiful warrior spirit had finally stretched to its breaking point. I could no longer keep up with the demands of the messy, outer, impersonal world.

I no longer wanted to fight for the simplest pleasures in this life.

Sleeping should not be a struggle. Standing should not be a struggle. Eating, breathing, thinking, laughing, and articulating should not be a struggle.

But it was.

Like a tsunami, the struggle came, the symptoms mounted, and my everyday life was never the same.

I went to doctors (both holistic and mainstream), but they could not give me the answers I was searching for. They couldn't look beyond the labs to see what a monumental REBOOT and UPGRADE my body, mind, and soul were going through.

It was all connected.

This was a spiritual journey as much as a physical one. 

To shatter the grip that the outer world had on me, I was asked to face the raw concept of mortality. Who was I if I could no longer "survive" in this world that could be so unrelenting and cruel sometimes.

Would there be a moment when I simply ceased to exist? When my breath would give way and my son would be alone?

That might seem like an extreme thought from where you sit, but everything felt far beyond my control in those very vulnerable moments (which were usually in the darkest hours of the night).

Here's how it all shifted: