The Feelings Are Real

We’ve been taught to make all of our raw and authentic feelings appears as gentle, kind, and pretty upon the surface. Even when no one is around to see them, we often deny them, push them to the side, or even blame them on another.

As a society, we are not comfortable with feelings. But feelings give voice to the sensitive and subtle parts of our being. 

I once asked my Spirit Guides how I could be so high frequency in one moment and emotionally challenged in the next. With a sweet smile, they reminded me:

“If you are feeling it, it already exists within!”

That’s profound, for those of us who believe that our surroundings cause the emotions. Our current surroundings only provide opportunity for the emotions to express themselves. It’s how we deal with these emotions that defines our experience.

Because my Spirit Guides and Guardians know that I’m stepping into a new adventure this year, they want me to step in as FREE as can be. They are offering me opportunity after opportunity to face my own deepest insecurities so that I may SHED LIGHT upon them.

If I no longer deny any authentic aspect of mySelf, then it will be easier for me to accept and appreciate the many blessings that are approaching. 

So, brave I must be as I look at my own outdated insecurities.

Currently, my greatest one is in believing that “I must do it all alone”. This subconscious belief is anchored pretty deep. At some level, I authentically believe that the weight of the universe is upon my sweet shoulders. Whether it is in making sure that there is milk in the house, or that everyone remains positive and in gratitude for this beautiful life.

Yes. I witness the comedy there. One example is of no great value, and the other is not my responsibility to take on. But, at some level, I process these as overwhelming triggers every now and then.

These nonsensical triggers have been mounting up all year (along with some much greater ones). At times I face them all with effortless grace and ease, so proud of my ability to process each one wisely. And then, there are moments when I believe that my head really will explode from the bat, bat, battering of all that unceasingly flows.

In a sacred retreat, this last weekend, we were working with reClaiming fragmented aspects of our soul. This healing path focuses on bringing healing and wholeness to the parts of our Self that have felt separate and alone. 

I finally realized that this deeply seeded belief of mine is coming from a part of ME that has been fragmented and separate from my greatest soul truth. She (this part of me) authentically believes that the weight of the universe is upon her. She authentically believes that the crazy challenges will continuously keep her separate from passionate life-experiences.

So, before heading to sleep last night, I asked to powerfully LOVE this part of Me into wholeness. 

I awoke at some point, feeling the heaviness of every dense and dark emotion filling me. Nauseousness accompanied all. But I would not give it energy. I remained cuddled in my blankets, while elevating my awareness to the LIGHT that eternally is. I asked for graceful support and confidently expressed that I am DONE with feeling alone, overwhelmed, victimized, unappreciated, and without choice. I accept that these emotions are real and have served me well, but I no longer resonate with them. 

I then felt an incredible LIFTing of every pent-up, shadowed emotion. A pure force of Light was drawing every old and ancient emotional wound from the core of my being. 

With this sacred clearing, I fell back asleep.

In my dream world, I found mySelf cuddling with a majestic Lion. It felt so at home in his powerful presence. I could see mySelf in his beauty, and I sensed that he was sinking deep into my own.

This was all leading up to the moment when we merged our energies together as one. On a soul level, I knew that we were one force of eternal light and life.

Because I was brave enough to honor my emotions (without judging them in any way), I welcomed a brilliant and majestic part of ME home today.

No more denial. No more distraction.

At some point, we have to believe that we are worthy of more than survival, challenge, and pain.

All we have to do is want it. 

Your feelings are giving voice to an authentic aspect of You. Are you ready to listen? To sense where it might take you upon your cosmic journey of self-discovery?

You are loved.

Be free. ♥

© Alania Starhawk 2017